Being 16 has changed a lot of things in my life. I have more responsiblity, school subjects are harder, I'm learning how to drive, looking for a relationship, going on a job search...I'm becoming independent.
The reality of being on my own is getting closer and closer each day, and I need to be ready for it when it comes.
Sometimes when I'm riding in the passenger seat, I look over at my mom and think about all the things she goes through during the day. I try imagining myself in her shoes, driving down Bear Valley Road with my 16 year old in the car. The stress of taking her (my daughter) to and from school every day, making sure that my husband has everything for work and that his pay check comes out with the right balance, managing bills and the ever dreaded mortgage payment, and just so much more.
I'll be honest; I'm a bit scared to go out into the world on my own, but at the same time, I'm looking forward to the freedom that comes with it. I want to develope to my full potential and show the world what I can do. I don't have to make a difference, but I can to something to effect our ever changing world.
I know God has my back, and I've been praying a lot lately, especially on the topic of relationships. I've had my heart broken so many times, and I don't understand why I keep going back and trying again. I think it's because I know, there's one guy out there that will ultimately complete me, at least I hope so. Right now I'm in that whole "teenage dating" stage, and find myself interested in this boy at my school.
My mom has asked me to wait until October 31st before I commit to anything. She experienced first hand, when I had my heart broken by my previous boyfriend, and I know she's only looking out for me. She doesn't want me to get hurt again.
I came up with a list of things that are important to me in a guy, as far as personality and all. So far, Andrew has met them, though there are a few that I'm still looking for like how he is with his family. I haven't met them officially just yet, and therefore cannot make a judgement on that just yet.
He is a christian, kind, loves children, extraordinarily funny, polite, curtious, passionate, smart, determined, hard working, and outgoing (except for around parents). He's apparently had some bad experiences with parents being very protective of their daughters and he gets nervous around them easily. This really hinders things because when he gets to be around my parents, he kind of shuts up. I wish they could see who he really is behind his shell, but he's getting better. He's slowly easing into it, and tells me all the time about how he wants to get to know my family. It's really important for him to be involved with family, and the fact that he wants to get to know mine shows me that he truly cares for me and them as well!
Every night I think about what it would be like if Andrew and I were involved in a long term relationship, and I think about all the pros and cons. Being honest, I have no cons so far! I haven't had to compromise on a single thing with him, he likes me for me and appreciates my company. I'm hoping to date him in the very near future. Bottom line...he makes me very happy, and this is what I WANT:)
Well, aside from all that relationship stuff, I'm still on the search for a job. I applied at the rollerskating rink down the street and I'm still waiting on a reply to my application. Nothing coming up yet, but im praying for some opportunity. God can open all the doors, I guess it's just not in his will at the moment, so I'm patiently waiting.
Learning to drive is moving at a crawling pace right now. I'm taking Driver's Education at my high school and once I complete the test, I still have to take the DMV test in order to get my permit:P Then I have to wait 6 more months for my license..ahhh:/ lol
I can definitly see some things that I reeeally need to improve on like my responsibilities at home...also known as every teenagers nightmare...CHORES :O
I don't have a lot to do at all, just vacuuming twice a week, cleaning the cat box daily, and cleaning the bathroom once a week. THATS IT! I need to pick up some more chores; I know that a lot is being dumped on my mom, and I wish I could express to her how much I appreciate everything she's done for me and for the things she will do<3>
Please pray for me in my relationships, school, job opportunities, and for wisdom and strength as I venture out on my own. I'm making my own decisions now and am learning how to be independent. I'm slowly treading water:O
P.S. -Don't forget to use the word of the day in a conversation today:D