Tuesday, September 1, 2009

On My Own

Word of the Day: Self-actualization - to develope to your full potential as your own person.

Being 16 has changed a lot of things in my life. I have more responsiblity, school subjects are harder, I'm learning how to drive, looking for a relationship, going on a job search...I'm becoming independent.

The reality of being on my own is getting closer and closer each day, and I need to be ready for it when it comes.

Sometimes when I'm riding in the passenger seat, I look over at my mom and think about all the things she goes through during the day. I try imagining myself in her shoes, driving down Bear Valley Road with my 16 year old in the car. The stress of taking her (my daughter) to and from school every day, making sure that my husband has everything for work and that his pay check comes out with the right balance, managing bills and the ever dreaded mortgage payment, and just so much more.

I'll be honest; I'm a bit scared to go out into the world on my own, but at the same time, I'm looking forward to the freedom that comes with it. I want to develope to my full potential and show the world what I can do. I don't have to make a difference, but I can to something to effect our ever changing world.

I know God has my back, and I've been praying a lot lately, especially on the topic of relationships. I've had my heart broken so many times, and I don't understand why I keep going back and trying again. I think it's because I know, there's one guy out there that will ultimately complete me, at least I hope so. Right now I'm in that whole "teenage dating" stage, and find myself interested in this boy at my school.

My mom has asked me to wait until October 31st before I commit to anything. She experienced first hand, when I had my heart broken by my previous boyfriend, and I know she's only looking out for me. She doesn't want me to get hurt again.

I came up with a list of things that are important to me in a guy, as far as personality and all. So far, Andrew has met them, though there are a few that I'm still looking for like how he is with his family. I haven't met them officially just yet, and therefore cannot make a judgement on that just yet.

He is a christian, kind, loves children, extraordinarily funny, polite, curtious, passionate, smart, determined, hard working, and outgoing (except for around parents). He's apparently had some bad experiences with parents being very protective of their daughters and he gets nervous around them easily. This really hinders things because when he gets to be around my parents, he kind of shuts up. I wish they could see who he really is behind his shell, but he's getting better. He's slowly easing into it, and tells me all the time about how he wants to get to know my family. It's really important for him to be involved with family, and the fact that he wants to get to know mine shows me that he truly cares for me and them as well!

Every night I think about what it would be like if Andrew and I were involved in a long term relationship, and I think about all the pros and cons. Being honest, I have no cons so far! I haven't had to compromise on a single thing with him, he likes me for me and appreciates my company. I'm hoping to date him in the very near future. Bottom line...he makes me very happy, and this is what I WANT:)

Well, aside from all that relationship stuff, I'm still on the search for a job. I applied at the rollerskating rink down the street and I'm still waiting on a reply to my application. Nothing coming up yet, but im praying for some opportunity. God can open all the doors, I guess it's just not in his will at the moment, so I'm patiently waiting.

Learning to drive is moving at a crawling pace right now. I'm taking Driver's Education at my high school and once I complete the test, I still have to take the DMV test in order to get my permit:P Then I have to wait 6 more months for my license..ahhh:/ lol

I can definitly see some things that I reeeally need to improve on like my responsibilities at home...also known as every teenagers nightmare...CHORES :O

I don't have a lot to do at all, just vacuuming twice a week, cleaning the cat box daily, and cleaning the bathroom once a week. THATS IT! I need to pick up some more chores; I know that a lot is being dumped on my mom, and I wish I could express to her how much I appreciate everything she's done for me and for the things she will do<3>

Please pray for me in my relationships, school, job opportunities, and for wisdom and strength as I venture out on my own. I'm making my own decisions now and am learning how to be independent. I'm slowly treading water:O

Yours Truly,


P.S. -Don't forget to use the word of the day in a conversation today:D


  1. Caitlyn,

    I am so proud of you for so many reasons besides the ones you list above. Even though Mom's have a lot on their plate, they pray a lot. More than you know. I pray for your future which remains unknown for now by yourself and me, but God knows where He is directing your path.

    I pray for guidance to model those behaviors I want you to take into your future life not only as a young adult but as a future mom as well who will teach your own kids.

    I pray for protection of your heart because there are so many people willing to offer you what you think you want but deep down inside, do you really know them at all or do you only see what they do for you? Spend some time really seeing if you are truly seeing the person for who they really are, or what they want you to see. Once you commit, your heart is on the line.

    I pray for protection of your spirit and soul, that in the High School years, you can be easily influenced by the bad as well as the good. I ask that God guide you and lead you in everything you do each day.

    I pray most of all, that you will never sacrifice who you are and what you want to do in life, for the sake of someone else, but remain true to the person God created when He made you.

    If you simply trust God in all these things and challenges that lie ahead, you will never fail, but succeed in greatness, grace, compassion and love.

    Love and Hugs ~ Mom

  2. Caitlyn,

    I want to say so many things to you and help you as you grow into a wonderful young woman. I know that you and your Dad will always have a special relationship and that's the way it should be. I want you to be able to come to us or talk to Mom, Dad, Meredith, or me if you ever need to talk about anything . I know that I would be on the bottom of the Totem Pole as far as you asking for advice, but I am hear if you need it or want it. Also, trust in God and keep asking his advice, for their is your true answer.

    As for your post. I would really like to see you be complete in yourself! I hope you know what I mean when I say this. So many people, both men and women think that they are incomplete and need another person in their life to have meaning. The truth is, only you can be complete in yourself! Only you can do this! If you are complete and like who you are as a girl, young woman, friend, Daughter, and Sister, then you don't have to feel like there is something missing in your life.

    When you meet the right man you will know it, and he will not complete you, but compliment you. He will not change you, but will help change life when you are both together. I see your need to have a boy, young man take care of your every need and just say great things about you. But, you are only 16 and in everything in life comes with experience. Experience defines who you are as a person as you grow everyday, month and year.

    Enjoy your youth, enjoy school, meet new friends for now will be the times you remember for a long time. You won't necessarily remember your boyfriends and what you did 10, 20, or 30 years from now. But you will remember your friendships and hopefully keep many of them through your life. So take it easy, don't feel like you have to have a boyfriend to feel happy. Take it from many of us who have been down that road. I would rather have has my friends back then over my girlfriends. Friends will last you a lifetime if they are truly your friends.

    Take time to have fun and don't sweat the boyfriends, as you will have many through the years. Don't feel the need to get married right out of high school. Learn what is is truly like to be on your own out in this world. Then you can truly say that you know what it is like to be on your own.

    Love and hugs!


  3. Hi sister Cait! Actually, the teenagers' nightmares you mentioned [chores] is just the beginning of showing that if the teens can't do such simple things, how are they going to do the much bigger things? If you then, become patient in doing so, I think those little chores will even help toward your self-actualization, because learning endurance and patience develop your character.

    That's great that you are already thinking about becoming independent. It is scary because of a lot of uncertainties. But if you remain trusting in the Lord, well, I'll let you read Proverbs 3:5,6...

    It's not easy when someone breaks your heart. But we are all in need to love and be loved, so it's just normal that you move on and try to find that one who will love you back for who you are. They say, it's better to love than not love at all.

    May God guide you and give you discernment, protect you, give you His divine wisdom and bless you richly with spiritual blessings. He gifted you with so many awesome talents so I hope He will use you to be His instrument in blessing so many lives around you and those He will place in your path. Blessings to you.

  4. hey Caitlyn:).I understand you perfectly, I've been thru that period recently and sometimes I still feel like I'm not ready to face the world, it's scary, I know, but you'll be fine.I write you from my experience, my parents came to States when i was only 13 and for 6 years we've been separated, only last year I got the visa and I could come here.It's been a hard time for each of us, but God takes care of His children and He gave everything I needed:friends to have fun with, a place in a good high-school, a great family and the most amazing thing in my life, He gave me a man to share my life with:my fiance.We've been together for the last 2 and a half years, and even we have a long distance relationship(which is so hard!) I feel so blessed having him by my side.I can't wait to really start living my life with him and even if there are lots of responsibilities, I enjoy every single piece of life!:)..

  5. Caitlin,

    I have a 16 yr old and I so understand every aspect of this post! Your parents love you more than anyone on this earth of course only the LORD loves your more than that and to us moms that is so hard to even imagine but it is sooo true! No one prays for you like your parents either but think about this for a second.....If your momma is asking you to wait until Oct 31 maybe she is wanting to see the fruit of this young man and what you say about him.....IF he is all you say he is and IF he cares about you and really wants to know your family ~ 59 days is not much to ask and wouldn't it be awesome to know he can meet AND pass the challenge. As believers, all of us, children of God at some point in time have to meet challenges/pass tests and this should be easy for him if he cares about you and truly wants to prove himself. Caitlyn moms want to protect their daughters hearts and so does the LORD. We can go to HIM and seek answers about our choices....HE will answer you. I tell this to my daughter and her boyfriend.....you are set apart, you are a daughter of the KING MOST HIGH. It is our jobs as moms to lead you in the way you are to go....It is Gods request of us and like your mom is doing I want to pass this test.
    I know you will do the right thing and the Lord will show you the way! :)

  6. Caitlin, I'm the 16 year old daughter of the Loren or The Magoos News!
    And I agree with everything my mom and your mom are saying. I've been through the exact same ordeal with my boyfriend, Tyler. It's been quite the ride let me tell you. But trust me, it's ALLLL worth it. From what your post says, I'd say this is kid is def worth it. I know Tyler was. Just be patient, G-d has His perfect timing. And I can guarantee what's meant to be will work out perfectly. I would really like updates on this, if you please! (AND if it's no intrusion to your personal life; since we barely know each other.) I'd love to help you in anyway I know to do! I hope it all works out!
    You sound like one cool girl from what my mom says and your blog shows!

    Jenna :)

  7. Sweetie,

    Take your time. You are a wonderful and precious young lady. GOD has big plans for you. You are so blessed to have wonderful parents to help guide you.
    Know that I am praying for you, too. andrea

  8. Caitlyn,

    Please stop by my blog for a special blessing.

    Love and Hugs ~ Kat